It’s not something I’m proud of.
Every time the word leaves my mouth, I immediately die a little bit inside and spend the next ten minutes trying to convince everyone within earshot (and myself) that I was being ironic.
Alas, my mouth continues to betray me with talk of low-hanging fruit, touching base and moving the needle.
I’ve been looking at some recent industry copy, and it’s like watching someone trying to get through a revolving door with a ladder under each arm.
Let’s take this example:
“Leveraging synergistic touchpoints to drive frictionless end-to-end solutions.”
Come again?
Let’s translate that into plain English for the sake of our collective sanity:
“We use a few different ways to talk to you so that buying our stuff isn’t a total ball-ache.”
When we bury the lede in techno-babble, we aren’t being clever. We aren’t being clear. We aren’t setting ourselves apart.
It’s just an indicator that we’ve run out of interesting, meaningful things to say.
Whenever I encounter someone that over-uses the sort of corporate-speak that someone in their position is “supposed” to say, I assume at least one of two things:
Now, I’ll concede that jargon can provide a certain "if-you-know-you-know" mystique. It feels like a secret club. I’ve even been bewitched by its dark allure at times. But who actually benefits from it?
If your message requires a Rosetta Stone to decipher, you aren't an "industry titan"—you’re just making it unnecessarily hard for very busy people to give you money.
And look. I’m not judging the people who use it - I’ve already admitted I’m a "granular" offender - and I accept that it’s often part of the dance.
But we have to stop pretending that using big words makes us more competent.
Usually, it just makes us look like we’re overcompensating. But for what?
Well, sometimes you’re asked to sell or market an offering that isn't exactly exciting.
Sometimes you’re tasked to put some fancy window dressing around a product or concept that just isn’t very interesting to anyone but the hardest of the hardcore.
Jargon is the go-to solution for many of us, and particularly in B2B tech marketing.
Stick a tuxedo of buzzwords on it and hope it gets a standing ovation in the boardroom.
But you don't need to call a basic file-sharing tool an "integrated hyper-converged data repository." Just tell me it stops my files from disappearing and makes my life easier.
In a world where we’re surrounded by stimuli vying for our precious attention, all this corporate camouflage is just white noise.
The real cost of this jargon - the actual "on-the-ground" reality check - is that it creates a massive speed bump in the sales funnel.
When you obfuscate your message, people start asking uncomfortable questions:
Confusion is the enemy of conversion.
If I can’t tell if you’re selling me a software platform or a fancy toaster within ten seconds, I’m out.
It creates uncertainty, and in B2B, uncertainty is the quickest way to get chucked into the "maybe never" pile.
Be human. Talk like a person.
Break down those barriers.
And while you’re at it, stop calling those barriers “silos”.
The person on the other end will appreciate the clarity, and they might even reciprocate in kind.
What’s more, when you take all that pesky confusion out of the equation, your marketing messaging becomes tighter, and your MQLs become more reliable.
You’ll weed out the tire-kickers who don’t really have a clue what you offer, and attract the people who actually want to work with you.
And hey, if you need a little extra help in navigating the treacherous seas of B2B buzzwords, get in contact with us here and we’ll circle back.
Actually no, we won’t “circle back”.
We’ll get back in touch with you.
See? Much better.